NEW YORK – Love is in the air and on the shelves. Where better to find a literary cutie than at a bookstore singles event?
This was the ethos five days before Valentine’s Day at Book Club Bar in lower Manhattan at an event created by Bored of Dating Apps, an organization eager to overpower online dating culture with in-person connection.
“We’re about rom-com culture,” says Grace Clark Delgado, one of the on-site hosts. “Dating culture feels like we can’t have that. But when you come to this, you absolutely can.”
If guests felt any stakes given the impending heart-shaped holiday, BODA made it clear there were none – there would be no speed dating activities or red lighting, just mingling amid walls of bookshelves on a weeknight. You could lock down a Valentine, or you could just meet a new friend. Some participants go home with a new connection, and others flirt a little and then buy some books, Clark Delgado says.
Where booklovers meet their match
When I arrived at Book Club Bar, the evening readers still dominated the barstools. The back room, siphoned off for the event, was empty. The East Village bookstore and bar has a regular lineup of events, but they’re mostly known as a place for a date with your hardcover.
But when I looked up from my interview with Clark Delgado less than 10 minutes later, the room was packed with singles, palpably warmer and spilling over into the main section of the bar. Participants traded drink tickets for glasses of wine. Some entered confidently, others overwhelmed. Participants sometimes bring friends, but most show up alone. All were greeted by the hosts, who serve as wingpeople and a friendly face to come back to. They often help facilitate conversations and match people together.
The bookstore setting is a major appeal for participants, Clark Delgado says. BODA hosts events on rooftops and on dance floors, but they return to this bookstore by popular demand once a month. Both sessions this day – one at 6 p.m., another at 9 p.m. – completely sold out at 200 tickets total, founder Jess Evans says.
“I might be willing to try something newer, potentially out of my comfort zone in a place that already feels really familiar,” Clark Delgado says. “I’m surrounded by books. These are great kick-off points, like icebreakers. … ‘If you were a book, what would you be?’ or ‘Have you read anything, can you spot anything on the shelves you’ve read recently?’ ”
As I circled the room, I probed attendants – how much did the bookish atmosphere sell them on the event? How many of them were looking for a literary lover?
Ava Mattox, 32, was looking to connect with other readers, frustrated by how few Americans read for pleasure these days. She’d like a future significant other to have a sense of curiosity, empathy and read widely. She’s not sure she’d want to be with someone who only reads nonfiction or one kind of book.
“How you gain empathy and learn about people outside of yourself is by reading fiction,” Mattox says.
Konstantinos Karagiannis, 53, loves horror and sci-fi books. He goes to Salem, Massachusetts, every year around Halloween and wants a girlfriend who will join him. The words “driven” and “passionate” come to mind when he dreams up a future partner. He’s tried many different singles events, but “because this is Book Club Bar, I figured I’d have a better chance of meeting a smart woman,” he says.
When dating apps grow stale, singles kick it old school
An overwhelming consensus, from the hosts to the attendees, was that people are tired of the online dating hustle. A 2025 Forbes study found that 80% of millennials and 79% of Gen Z report feeling burnt out by dating apps.
Most attendees I talked to said the apps feel transactional. They’re annoyed by how long it takes to actually meet up in real life. They’re craving a return to the original model: the meet-cute.
“(Dating apps) feel so clinical to me. I read a lot of romance books as well – that magic doesn’t exist anymore,” says attendee Shreyas Seethalla, 24. He heard about the event while visiting Book Club Bar two weeks ago. He figured a bookstore would be a good place to meet like-minded readers.
Attendees also warmed up with a bit of an incentive – hosts picked a pair who really hit it off and gave them tickets to the Metropolitan Opera for the following week. Neha Nidamarti, 36, was one of the ticket winners. She and the other winner, 30-year-old Jason Berk, both feel frustrated with dating apps. They’re also both fantasy readers and have read Sarah J. Maas’