I knew I needed a shake-up. My playlists are incredible. Seriously, Social Distortion into the Indigo Girls ? That’s a person on fire. But I was becoming less and less surprised by my own choices. And while I’m leery of artificial intelligence’s data collection and slow destruction of my profession, I knew this was where all the tunes were stored. Plus, Apple was offering a free one-month trial. (I know. Impressive standards.)
I’ve never been quick to adopt technology. Latest proof? I’m 57 years old and finally decided to give Apple Music a try. Before you judge, it’s not like I’ve been doing nothing. For the last few years, I’ve been using Amazon Music. OK, now you can judge. Amazon has the cred of Hotmail.
So I went in with an open heart and visions of constantly stopping my workout to blurt out, “That’s exactly what I wanted to hear… And that’s another one… And another. Do you people ever miss?”
Well, I was constantly stopping my workout, but only because you’re a horrible DJ, Apple Music. I give you Bruce Springsteen to build off, and you give me a Bruce song (how gutsy), then Billy Joel (next), Dire Straits (next), the Eagles (just stop), Elton John (really?), and Hall & Oates (my God, I’m never completing this set). And no matter how forcefully I hit skip, it has no effect since you’re giving me the same suggestions tomorrow.
But I’ll admit something: I’m horrible too. I wanted to be lazy and have Apple figure out exactly what I wanted to hear. That was a super dumb plan. Apple isn’t actually human and isn’t looking to get to know me. It’s about giving the hits — and apparently every artist from 1978 — and certainly not pushing things.
“They’re expecting you to stay in your comfort zone. It’s the easiest way to keep you listening,” says Glenn McDonald, a former algorithm designer at Spotify and the author of You Have Not Yet Heard Your Favourite Song: How Streaming Changes Music.
Well, Apple hasn’t totally kept me listening, but I’m not looking to tussle. I just want Apple to be less horrible, and it’s up to me to make it happen. That means taking control of the music, and that means making playlists — the thing I was trying to avoid.
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Is it a guarantee for success? God no. I’m still dealing with something with no feelings making decisions about something that is all about feelings. But the idea is that if I feed the algorithm what I like, it will eventually learn and give better recommendations. At least that’s the hope.
“Whether it actually pans out that way is another question,” McDonald says.
I can deal with that iffiness. The bigger problem is when I have to start making decisions. Apple essentially offers the chance to listen to, well, anything, and that’s too much for me. I miss record stores with their chatty clerks and recommended discs. But mostly, I liked that they had floor plans and only so much shelf space.
I’m not alone. Research shows that people like and do better with limits. In this respect, Apple is not my friend. Time isn’t, either. I don’t have gobs of it anymore to spend in record stores that no longer exist, or even to listen to music. I have about 30 minutes a day at the gym, and maybe 60 when I make Sunday breakfast for the kids.
Unfortunately, I usually freeze and pick something I know rather than experimenting. The next time, I’ll do the same thing and feel the same regret, because while Apple’s catalog comes with endless possibilities, it also comes with a persistent worry.
“There’s always the chance you missed something really good,” says Ellen Hendriksen, clinical psychologist at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders and author of How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists.
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Guess what? I’m constantly missing good stuff and I’m fine with that.
So, Apple, instead of following your analytics, I’m installing some of my own updates. The first is to lower my expectations about your all-knowingness. If you surprise me once a week, I’ll consider that a win, but really I have to remember that you’re just guessing, and mostly guessing wrong, “for a generic [me], but not the actual [me],” as Hendriksen says.
The second is tidying up my intent. In my limited windows of time, I can either listen to my favorite tunes or wander the aisles, but I can’t do both. It’s my choice, depending on my mood, and it’s never the wrong one. This new attitude isn’t suddenly going to make the stress go away. That’s a me issue. Certainly, Apple, if you really wanted to help, you could by offering a “We’ll Only Show You So Much” option, for an extra $5 a month, which I’d consider paying. (After, of course, a three-month free trial.)
Or maybe just don’t play “Maneater” when I’m doing the chest press, or, like, ever.
Steve Calechman is a frequent contributor to Globe Magazine. Send comments to magazine@globe.com.